So I'm just
lying here in my warm cozy bed and it just occurred to me that Chik Fila home spun chocolate milkshakes with whipped cream and a cherry on top just may be the worlds most perfect food for a gal or guy on chemo😂
I seriously love these things. They don't make me nauseous.
They feel so soothing to my mouth and throat. They supply much needed calories and they taste delicious😍
Yesterday was a tough day. As my body builds up with the poison I need to slay the dragon, I find myself pondering the "what if's"
Like "What if
It doesn't work?
Will I have wasted time willfully making myself sick and weak instead of making the most of my allotted time feeling fairly well and out doing things and making good memories?
I usually don't reach these thoughts until I'm almost finished so I'm kind of disappointed in myself that I have a few rough days here and there and am already second-guessing.
So I come here to write this stuff down and get it off my chest and out of my heart.
Because this is not who I am.
I am a fighter. I want to live.
And I will get better. I will get back into remission.
I am so blessed and so grateful that people both family and strangers have been so kind to me. Because of all of their generosity I've been better able to pay for my treatments and medicine without having to give up other things like buying groceries and toilet paper. Electricity.....you know...luxuries. Hah! Seriously when you are on a fixed income you learn to pinch those pennies real hard and that is even when you don't have serious health issues. Cancer, well really, any chronic illness is so expensive. I cannot reiterate enough how much I appreciate those of you who have helped. There is just this urgency with cancer and chemo and it somehow just tries so hard to take everything out of you, even your precious joy. And ofcourse I realize that not everyone is able to donate but even when you just spread the word on your social media you never know who may see it and then they might donate. A kind deed grows and multiplies in many ways. God works in mysterious ways and I firmly believe angels do walk amongst us.
So now I'm going to talk with My Savior for a long bit and once again give all of my worries to God. Let go and let God. And to you my earthly family. May God fill each of you with love and joy and may your hearts soar with the beauty of it all. Wakeup tomorrow and do one act of kindness for someone who may never be able to repay you...but then again... That is why its called 'being kind" in the first place isn't it?
Peace and love
Dixie Theriault Help with Cancer costs fundraiser