Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Sex After Cancer

Do I have your attention?
Well no one ever accused me of being shy.
Oh wait, maybe back in Junior High. But not lately.
I've given considerable thought about how to approach this rather "touchy subject"(no pun intended.)
After all, my children read this blog.

They are all adults though, and I'm sure they all know by now,
(at least I hope)
that their daddy and I didn't find them all growing out in the cabbage patch.
So, let's just put it right out there.

Yes! People still want sex after cancer.
Perhaps it would be better to say that people want and need "Intimacy".
Especially after going through the trauma of diagnosis, surgery,and treatment.
Maybe more so then, than at any other time in their lives.

Do you feel like having sex after going through all of that?
I can only speak for myself and the answer is "Not really".
At least, not at first.

I recall asking my rather young surgeon Dr. S.,
when would it be OK to resume this part of my life.
I think I embarrassed her. I am after all, practically old enough to be her mother.
She even asked me if my husband was "pressuring me".
Considering his own health issues I'd have to say "Hardly". (Pardon the double entendre ;.)

In all honesty, we had both been so ill, for so long, that we had just evolved to a point where the subject rarely came up. (Hmmm...that didn't sound quite right did it?)
Also, sometimes the very nature of the type of surgery you have had, and medications you have taken or may be taking,
may have produced changes to your body that may not be conducive to conventional intercourse.

That being said. Don't give up on intimacy. Try a little tenderness.
Every human being on this Earth needs to touch and be touched.
A little creativity can,
and does go a long way.You may just surprise yourself.

Well anyhow, I am not going to give out lessons here.
Dr. Ruth has nothing to worry about.
Suffice it to say,  there have been many articles written,
and I am sure there will be many to come, (damn it, there I go again ;)
on this very subject.

 You all know that old saying,
"Where there is a Will...there is a Willa"
(What do you mean, that's not how it goes?) I guess that what I'm really trying to say is this
"Yes Virginia".
"There is a Santa Claus".

Have a wonderful day. ;D

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