Saturday, December 19, 2015

Remission. NED. Beast back in the Cage....etc...

9am on Friday December 18th 2015
Phone rings. Caller ID says Dr. B.
Person:(after identifying themselves) Hello. Is Dixie available?
Me: Speaking
Person: Hello Dixie. I'm calling from Dr. Blanchard's office. I have the results of your last CA-125
Me: (deep inhalation) Yes?
Person: 33. You are within normal limits.
Me: (dumbfounded) 33 you said?
Person: Yes Dr. Blanchard said you would want to know right away.
Me: (Numbly, calmly) Yes. Thank you very much for calling.
Person: Have a nice day.
Me: You too. Goodbye.

I disconnect. I realize I've been holding my breath and I quickly exhale and breathe in.
First normal reading since January.
What do I feel? A deep sense of wonder and gratitude.
"I'm better" I think to myself. "I'm in remission!" NED (No evident disease)
I quickly call and message everyone I can think of. I announce it to all of the wonderful people on Twitter with a pinned tweet.

Now true I still need to get a CT scan to see the actual state of the disease but I know it is going to be stable. Deep inside, viscerally, I just know this.
I am so happy and feel so blessed. I walk around all day just giving thanks.

How long will this remission last? A few weeks? A few months? Hopefully a few years. More than a few years. I am just grateful. I have won this round. The beast is back in the cage, where hopefully it will remain.
Though I will remain a diligent watcher, I will not obsess about this. I will get back to the business of enjoying my life. And supporting others who continue their fight.

God bless and keep you all.
Life is good and worth fighting for.


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