It is traditionally a day to honor our fallen heroes, and you will see Old Glory waving her stars and stripes throughout every city in America. Old cemeteries will be tidied, and tiny flags will adorn each veterans grave. There will be parades with living veterans of our wars, and they'll be marching, and you will hear the distant forlorn wailing of bagpipes.
There will be silence to the rifle fire of a 21 gun salute, and finally you will hear the lone mournful notes as Taps is played from a Bugle.
Taps makes me cry. The very notes tear through my soul and bring forth grief.
Not just for soldiers, but also for loved ones I have lost. Family members I'll never speak with, laugh with, or see again. At least not here in this physical world.
It has been many months since I've visited this little blog. I have been well. My CA-125 is at 19 and my latest CT scan performed just last week is normal. A second remission. I am grateful.
When I awoke to the quiet coolness of the morning with distant trills of songbirds, I thought about this little place where I come to write my thoughts, and I pondered why I haven't lately.
I think that because I am feeling well, I just don't wish to remind myself of being ill. Is that selfish?
I hope not. The truth is, I appreciate this tenuous grasp we all have on our health and respect it.
But when I feel good, I want to live. I want to go for walks. I want to smile and laugh. I don't want shadows over my shoulder.
I don't want to worry about tomorrow or next week. I don't want to recall bad things.
I just want today.
So I chose this weekend to update. I will recall our fallen, and I will remember those who are gone.
But I will not dwell upon my own struggles of the past, nor uncertainties of the future.
Not today.
God bless everyone.
Love, Dixie
ReplyDeleteHi Dixie! I noticed your blog and I greatly appreciate the stories you are willing to share with others. What great words about Memorial Day--I'm so thankful for the nation we live in. Your strength and courage during your cancer battle is admirable. Keep up the good fight! My name is Abby, and I’m currently a student at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, MI working on a project called CancerEd. My team and I are developing curriculum materials to teach children about cancer in an interactive but scientifically accurate way. We are looking to send out a survey to parents who have had cancer to better understand how they communicate with their children about cancer and we would love your help with this! If you could email me at ans29@students.calvin.edu, I would love to give you more information about the survey and about our project. Hope to hear from you soon! Thanks!
Abby. Hello. I'm just now reading your lovely reply. I'd be happy to help. Email me at southrngal@gmail.com
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