Phone rings. Caller ID says Dr. B.
Me:Hello
Person:(after identifying themselves) Hello. Is Dixie available?
Me: Speaking
Person: Hello Dixie. I'm calling from Dr. Blanchard's office. I have the results of your last CA-125
Me: (deep inhalation) Yes?
Person: 33. You are within normal limits.
Me: (dumbfounded) 33 you said?
Person: Yes Dr. Blanchard said you would want to know right away.
Me: (Numbly, calmly) Yes. Thank you very much for calling.
Person: Have a nice day.
Me: You too. Goodbye.
I disconnect. I realize I've been holding my breath and I quickly exhale and breathe in.
33.Wow.
First normal reading since January.
What do I feel? A deep sense of wonder and gratitude.
"I'm better" I think to myself. "I'm in remission!" NED (No evident disease)
I quickly call and message everyone I can think of. I announce it to all of the wonderful people on Twitter with a pinned tweet.
Now true I still need to get a CT scan to see the actual state of the disease but I know it is going to be stable. Deep inside, viscerally, I just know this.
I am so happy and feel so blessed. I walk around all day just giving thanks.
How long will this remission last? A few weeks? A few months? Hopefully a few years. More than a few years. I am just grateful. I have won this round. The beast is back in the cage, where hopefully it will remain.
Though I will remain a diligent watcher, I will not obsess about this. I will get back to the business of enjoying my life. And supporting others who continue their fight.
God bless and keep you all.
Life is good and worth fighting for.
Love,
Dixie
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