1st Round of Chemo Complete!

Good morning all! I completed my 3rd treatment and round one yesterday. I've developed a severe case of thrush which is common but painful. I'm treating it with magic mouthwash and it is beginning to clear up. I'm having the usual fatigue, nausea, diarrhea but this just means the chemo is doing its job.
Tomorrow is the 1st day of Spring. How lovely is that. I can't wait to enjoy the nice weather!
All of the support and encouragement I'm receiving  lifts my spirits and puts me in just the place my soul needs to be! Getting into remission again is everything and I couldn't do it without all of you.
Keep me in your prayers as I keep you in mine.

Love and Peace
Dixie

If you can please check out my link below. Thanks to all of the kindness of others I'm very close to hitting my goal!
The Dixie Theriault Cancer Fund

Cancer: The Great Humbler

You awake to find yourself lying in liquid feces at 4am.
You stumble into the bathroom and start the shower and you stand shivering under the water, waiting for it to warm up.

Once you are clean and dry, you return to your room and strip the bed, mattress pad included.

As the washing machine fills, you open the window so that you will stop gagging on the air freshener you sprayed thru-out, and finally you can catch your breath.

You ask yourself,
"How could this have happened?"

You feel a familiar, painful cramping low in your gut and you hastily run to the bathroom again.

Afterwards, you log onto your Amazon account, and with a sigh, you order adult diapers.

You thank God for another sunrise.

Love,
Dixie

Remission is my Mission!

I've just finished my 2nd treatment of round 1 of chemotherapy in my quest for remission.
The 1st treatment consisted of 3 different drugs. Carboplatin, abraxane (both of which I've been treated with before) and a new one for me called Avastin.
Avastin is not technically a chemo agent due to the way it works. It prevents the formation of new blood vessels in the body,  thus starving the tumor to death. I will only recieve this 1-2-3 punch every third week. The other two weeks I receive the abraxane alone.
I have to admit that this first week kicked my butt!
But I'm keeping focused on my goal which is to once again achieve remission.
I am so humbled and grateful for each day of Life and the outpouring of support I've received from everyone renews my determination.
What a lovely thing this Life.
What a lovely thing is the kindness of others

.

Have a wonderful week
Love, Dixie


https://www.gofundme.com/xa5jd-help-with-medical-costs

Third Times the Charm.....etc....

Well hello there!
Yes I'm still here.
Been on a wonderful long break...and remission....
But...
Putting on my gloves again.

I'm getting an indwelling port placed on March 6th. I've never had a port before. When I made my 1st trip to the rodeo I was on the injectable blood thinner Fragmin twice a day for a pulmonary embolism. The 2nd time it was never mentioned so I just went with the flow.
So no beat up veins this time.

I hope everyone has been busy enjoying this beautiful, crazy world we all share.
I'll catch up now and then as my journey continues.
Remember,

Build bridges...not walls.

Love
Dixie

Memorial Day...A Time to Reflect and Remember

Here in the USA we celebrate Memorial Day on the last Monday in May.
It is traditionally a day to honor our fallen heroes, and you will see Old Glory waving her stars and stripes throughout every city in America. Old cemeteries will be tidied, and tiny flags will adorn each veterans grave. There will be parades with living veterans of our wars, and they'll be marching, and you will hear the distant forlorn wailing of bagpipes.
There will be silence to the rifle fire of a 21 gun salute, and finally you will hear the lone mournful notes as Taps is played from a Bugle.

Taps makes me cry. The very notes tear through my soul and bring forth grief.
Not just for soldiers, but also for loved ones I have lost. Family members I'll never speak with, laugh with, or see again. At least not here in this physical world.

It has been many months since I've visited this little blog. I have been well. My CA-125 is at 19 and my latest CT scan performed just last week is normal. A second remission. I am grateful.
When I awoke to the quiet coolness of the morning with distant trills of songbirds, I thought about this little place where I come to write my thoughts, and I pondered why I haven't lately.

I think that because I am feeling well, I just don't wish to remind myself of being ill. Is that selfish?
I hope not. The truth is, I appreciate this tenuous grasp we all have on our health and respect it.
But when I feel good, I want to live. I want to go for walks. I want to smile and laugh. I don't want shadows over my shoulder.
I don't want to worry about tomorrow or next week. I don't want to recall bad things.
I just want today.

So I chose this weekend to update. I will recall our fallen, and I will remember those who are gone.
But I will not dwell upon my own struggles of the past, nor uncertainties of the future.
Not today.
God bless everyone.
Love, Dixie

 

January Update and Musings

Well I continue on the Lynparza and my CA-125 continues to decline. My latest result is 26.
I feel I am in a solid remission. Overall I feel well. Occasional nausea from the drug but that is easily managed.
I have some fatigue which I now suspect is from low blood counts. My hematocrit has dropped from 34 to 31, which can happen while on Lynparza, as it suppresses my bone marrow.
Nothing bad enough to require intervention as of this writing. I just rest frequently and try to maintain a healthy appetite.
Wow 2016 already and January almost gone. The days seem to fly by. I look around and am grateful to be here.

Each day I awaken and give thanks for being here to see the day. I say "Thank you God for this beautiful day." I don't care if the sun is shining or it's pouring rain.
Each night I pray for God to make me a kinder person. Kindness and gratitude are two things I strive for more of, and I pray to pass it on to others.

I'm here for a reason, even if its nothing more than to write these simple posts that someone may stumble across one day.
Even if I can cause one person to give thanks or to show kindness, then I have accomplished something good.

So Happy New Year's Everyone. I am grateful to you all and the many kindnesses that have been shown to me. Namaste!

Love,
Dixie

In Remembrance of Dave

Today would've been my husband Dave's 61st birthday. For those of you who've followed this blog and the journal I kept at Caring Bridge, or even those who read Tales From the Teal Warrior, well I don't have to tell you what a terrific guy  Dave was.

Even though it has been over a year and a half since he died, it is still awkward for me to refer to him in the past tense. After all I did spend 36 years of my life with this man. Together we sort of grew up and grew old. We raised four wonderful boys who grew into the nicest young men any parent could hope for. We also shared many good times along with bad times, including virtually going through cancer together.

I felt tremendous survivors guilt after Dave passed away. I felt like there should've been something more I could've done to help him. Looking back I realize how naive I really was concerning the type of cancer Dave had and how ill he really was. But my very denial in a way, gave Dave hope and made him fight as hard as he could, so for that I am grateful.

I have a friend on Twitter named Teresa Lynn Johnson @TeresaLiveLyric who is a wonderful songwriter and Lyricist, and the other day she tweeted a link to her blog, where I read a song she wrote that reminded me so much of Dave, I just had to ask her if I could print it here on my blog.
Being the lovely sweet person that she is, she agreed. So today on Dave's 61st birthday, I'd like to share that song with all of you dear readers. Printed with permission of the author in its entirety.  Please enjoy.

HOLD ME

Oh would you hold me

Yes hold me just like this

And would you kiss me

With a hungry lover’s kiss

Hold me, kiss me, lets forget

Pretend they haven’t told us yet

And when I’m gone, my love you’ll know

You held a deeply happy soul

Pour all your feeling into me

Oh…

Hold me

~~~*Chorus*~~~

Don’t hold me like a Mother holds a child

I won’t break

Hold me like the pride

That you have inside

No mortal man can take

Hold me like a dam that keeps

The flowing waters back

Hold me

Hold me just like that

Oh…

This is what I need

When you hold me

~~*~~

Oh when you hold me

My mind wanders away

I think of others

Never being loved this way

Hold me, kiss me, yes I know

How blessed I’ve been that you’re my own

Before I’m gone, I want to prove

My life was great because of you

No way could I have been more pleased

Oh…

Hold me

~~~*Chorus*~~~

Don’t hold me like a Mother holds a child

I won’t break

Hold me like the pride

That you have inside

No mortal man can take

Hold me like a dam that keeps

The flowing waters back

Hold me

Hold me just like that

Oh…

This is what I need

When you hold me

~~*~~

~~~*Finale*~~~

When a girl seeks love

She can only pray

To find a man

Like you someday

There’s nothing more beautiful, serene

Than to leave this earth

Being held

In the arms of the man who loves me

Yes this is what I need

For you to hold me

~~*~~

You can enjoy more of Teresa's beautiful songs at her blog http://livinglyricallyteresalynnjohnson.blogspot.c

God bless you all.
Love,
Dixie