I've been trying to update more often but surprisingly enough, I lack the energy it takes just to put my thoughts together. Last week I cancelled my chemo. I am so sick and exhausted that I'm beginning to think it is doing more harm than good.
When not asleep, I am depressed and in pain from worsening neuropathy caused by the chemo. I am unsteady on my feet and the laryngitis is so bad others have trouble understanding me.
I'm worried about the rising costs of the chemo. I have a fundraiser going but I'm afraid that people just cant spare to give even $5 . Truthfully my biggest contributors have been my son and brothers and this bothers me. I feel like a burden. I am grateful to everyone who donate and pray to God everyday to please heal me so it will have been worth it.
I want God to bless each and every person who donates. I am humbled by their generous souls. A lot of them dont even know me yet they give. This is the core of the human condition. It's what I believe that ultimately we are placed on this earth to do and that is to love and care for one another.
I also ask God to bless those who pray for me and spread the word. I believe in prayer. It is a powerful thing.
I love you all. I hope every one of you remember to enjoy the little things in life. Like quiet mornings and beautiful sunsets. The laughter of a child.
God bless and goodnight.
Peace and love
Dixie
Sunday, May 12, 2019
Wednesday, April 24, 2019
A Lesson for us all
Twenty or twenty five years ago, I can recall standing in line at the checkout at the grocery.
For some reason I would always find myself in line behind this little elderly lady. She didn't shop from a cart. Instead she would always carry one of the little plastic baskets over her arm, watching with an eagle eye as the cashier rang up her items.
And usually without fail, there would be some sort of minor dispute over the final tally of the receipt.
Me, being in my usual hurry would want nothing more than to pay the few cents difference myself so that I could keep the line moving and checkout myself.
Of course the lady wouldn't hear of this, so as the line grew longer, myself and the other shoppers waited while the manager was called over to settle the dispute.
As he carefully rescanned her items, I would casually make note of what she had bought. Three cans of tuna. Two cans of beans. A loaf of bread. One half gallon of milk. A dozen eggs, Three bananas. Four rolls of cheap toilet paper. And last but not least, Eight cans of fancy feast catfood.
Finally, with everything rang up to her satisfaction, she would carefully count out her money right down to the last dime. Clutching her receipt tightly she would refuse all offers of help and make her way out the door.
I recall and tell this story now because that lady is now me.
(Except for the catfood, which I always imagined that she loved her cat very much, because she always bought it the most expensive cat food the store sold.)
But I certainly do know now, why and how,she bugeted her grocery money very carefully.
She had to make sure it would last.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this "Keep your patience in check now and always be kind. Because one day you just might be the one with the basket."
Peace and love,
Dixie
For some reason I would always find myself in line behind this little elderly lady. She didn't shop from a cart. Instead she would always carry one of the little plastic baskets over her arm, watching with an eagle eye as the cashier rang up her items.
And usually without fail, there would be some sort of minor dispute over the final tally of the receipt.
Me, being in my usual hurry would want nothing more than to pay the few cents difference myself so that I could keep the line moving and checkout myself.
Of course the lady wouldn't hear of this, so as the line grew longer, myself and the other shoppers waited while the manager was called over to settle the dispute.
As he carefully rescanned her items, I would casually make note of what she had bought. Three cans of tuna. Two cans of beans. A loaf of bread. One half gallon of milk. A dozen eggs, Three bananas. Four rolls of cheap toilet paper. And last but not least, Eight cans of fancy feast catfood.
Finally, with everything rang up to her satisfaction, she would carefully count out her money right down to the last dime. Clutching her receipt tightly she would refuse all offers of help and make her way out the door.
I recall and tell this story now because that lady is now me.
(Except for the catfood, which I always imagined that she loved her cat very much, because she always bought it the most expensive cat food the store sold.)
But I certainly do know now, why and how,she bugeted her grocery money very carefully.
She had to make sure it would last.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this "Keep your patience in check now and always be kind. Because one day you just might be the one with the basket."
Peace and love,
Dixie
Wednesday, April 10, 2019
Random Thoughts from a Grateful Soul.
So I'm just
lying here in my warm cozy bed and it just occurred to me that Chik Fila home spun chocolate milkshakes with whipped cream and a cherry on top just may be the worlds most perfect food for a gal or guy on chemo😂
I seriously love these things. They don't make me nauseous.
They feel so soothing to my mouth and throat. They supply much needed calories and they taste delicious😍
Sigh.....
Yesterday was a tough day. As my body builds up with the poison I need to slay the dragon, I find myself pondering the "what if's"
Like "What if
It doesn't work?
Will I have wasted time willfully making myself sick and weak instead of making the most of my allotted time feeling fairly well and out doing things and making good memories?
I usually don't reach these thoughts until I'm almost finished so I'm kind of disappointed in myself that I have a few rough days here and there and am already second-guessing.
So I come here to write this stuff down and get it off my chest and out of my heart.
Because this is not who I am.
I am a fighter. I want to live.
And I will get better. I will get back into remission.
I am so blessed and so grateful that people both family and strangers have been so kind to me. Because of all of their generosity I've been better able to pay for my treatments and medicine without having to give up other things like buying groceries and toilet paper. Electricity.....you know...luxuries. Hah! Seriously when you are on a fixed income you learn to pinch those pennies real hard and that is even when you don't have serious health issues. Cancer, well really, any chronic illness is so expensive. I cannot reiterate enough how much I appreciate those of you who have helped. There is just this urgency with cancer and chemo and it somehow just tries so hard to take everything out of you, even your precious joy. And ofcourse I realize that not everyone is able to donate but even when you just spread the word on your social media you never know who may see it and then they might donate. A kind deed grows and multiplies in many ways. God works in mysterious ways and I firmly believe angels do walk amongst us.
So now I'm going to talk with My Savior for a long bit and once again give all of my worries to God. Let go and let God. And to you my earthly family. May God fill each of you with love and joy and may your hearts soar with the beauty of it all. Wakeup tomorrow and do one act of kindness for someone who may never be able to repay you...but then again... That is why its called 'being kind" in the first place isn't it?
Peace and love
Dixie
Dixie Theriault Help with Cancer costs fundraiser
lying here in my warm cozy bed and it just occurred to me that Chik Fila home spun chocolate milkshakes with whipped cream and a cherry on top just may be the worlds most perfect food for a gal or guy on chemo😂
I seriously love these things. They don't make me nauseous.
They feel so soothing to my mouth and throat. They supply much needed calories and they taste delicious😍
Sigh.....
Yesterday was a tough day. As my body builds up with the poison I need to slay the dragon, I find myself pondering the "what if's"
Like "What if
It doesn't work?
Will I have wasted time willfully making myself sick and weak instead of making the most of my allotted time feeling fairly well and out doing things and making good memories?
I usually don't reach these thoughts until I'm almost finished so I'm kind of disappointed in myself that I have a few rough days here and there and am already second-guessing.
So I come here to write this stuff down and get it off my chest and out of my heart.
Because this is not who I am.
I am a fighter. I want to live.
And I will get better. I will get back into remission.
I am so blessed and so grateful that people both family and strangers have been so kind to me. Because of all of their generosity I've been better able to pay for my treatments and medicine without having to give up other things like buying groceries and toilet paper. Electricity.....you know...luxuries. Hah! Seriously when you are on a fixed income you learn to pinch those pennies real hard and that is even when you don't have serious health issues. Cancer, well really, any chronic illness is so expensive. I cannot reiterate enough how much I appreciate those of you who have helped. There is just this urgency with cancer and chemo and it somehow just tries so hard to take everything out of you, even your precious joy. And ofcourse I realize that not everyone is able to donate but even when you just spread the word on your social media you never know who may see it and then they might donate. A kind deed grows and multiplies in many ways. God works in mysterious ways and I firmly believe angels do walk amongst us.
So now I'm going to talk with My Savior for a long bit and once again give all of my worries to God. Let go and let God. And to you my earthly family. May God fill each of you with love and joy and may your hearts soar with the beauty of it all. Wakeup tomorrow and do one act of kindness for someone who may never be able to repay you...but then again... That is why its called 'being kind" in the first place isn't it?
Peace and love
Dixie
Dixie Theriault Help with Cancer costs fundraiser
Saturday, March 30, 2019
Thank You all. He heard you.
I'm down to 115 today.
Feeling very grateful.
Love
Dixie
Friday, March 29, 2019
Leg Swelling.
Have a lovely weekend too!
Love
Dixie
Tuesday, March 26, 2019
Ready for Round Two
Good evening everyone. Finally made it over here to do a blog update.
As you know I've been dealing with some side effects that really dragged me down to that lonesome place where nobody wants to be.
Laryngitis, painful mouth sores, fevers, and the inability to eat due to the pain just gave me a big old case of the blues.
Thankfully I have a stellar team of people on my side and after dealing with it alone all weekend, I was able to get all of my issues addressed yesterday.
Normally today would have began the second cycle or
round 2 of my chemotherapy.
But my fabulous RNP Elizabeth and my oncologist Dr. G. decided that moving forward I will have every 4th week off.
This will give my bone marrow and my body a chance to rebound between cycles of chemo treatments.
I also began a course of antibiotics and prescription. lozenges to rid me of this thrush and mouth sores.
And I can honestly say that its clearing up and healing already after just 1 day of treatment.
And this gives me new resolve and determination.
I will get through this.
Round 2 will begin next Tuesday and I am ready! Bring it on!
Keep those prayers and healing vibes coming folks.
Peace and love
Dixie
As you know I've been dealing with some side effects that really dragged me down to that lonesome place where nobody wants to be.
Laryngitis, painful mouth sores, fevers, and the inability to eat due to the pain just gave me a big old case of the blues.
Thankfully I have a stellar team of people on my side and after dealing with it alone all weekend, I was able to get all of my issues addressed yesterday.
Normally today would have began the second cycle or
round 2 of my chemotherapy.
But my fabulous RNP Elizabeth and my oncologist Dr. G. decided that moving forward I will have every 4th week off.
This will give my bone marrow and my body a chance to rebound between cycles of chemo treatments.
I also began a course of antibiotics and prescription. lozenges to rid me of this thrush and mouth sores.
And I can honestly say that its clearing up and healing already after just 1 day of treatment.
And this gives me new resolve and determination.
I will get through this.
Round 2 will begin next Tuesday and I am ready! Bring it on!
Keep those prayers and healing vibes coming folks.
Peace and love
Dixie
Sunday, March 24, 2019
Keeping it Real.
Feeling a little down today. So I've come here just to vent and hopefully gain better insight.
I'm in pain. A lot. And let me say it sure does wear a body down.
The thrush still hasn't resolved. In fact, I have open sores inside my mouth which make eating very painful.
Also I have laryngitis 😶 And nausea and diarrhea. And a fever.
Gosh just listen to me whine!
Now let me focus on the positive.
I have a beautiful, caring family.
My 4 children and their spouses and my 9 grandchildren.
I sure do miss them.
I wish that I had a picture of all of my grandchildren together in a group.
Its geographically impossible but still I can envision it in my mind and it makes me smile to imagine it.
I love my brothers and sisters.
My sister Jan is so good to me. She is really like having a 2nd mother.
That is the kind of person that she is. Loving , loyal, and kind to everyone.
I helped her get through her own bout with cancer almost 2 years ago and now she is here for me.
I am so grateful to her and everyone else for their support and prayers.
I truly could not do this alone.
And today is such a beautiful day.
Enough complaining. This too shall pass.
And I will continue to choose Life.
Love,
Dixie
I'm almost to my goal. Please visit my link and help me get there if you can. I am so grateful to you all. Thank you.
Dixie Theriault Cancer Fund
https://www.gofundme.com/xa5jd-help-with-medical-costs
I'm in pain. A lot. And let me say it sure does wear a body down.
The thrush still hasn't resolved. In fact, I have open sores inside my mouth which make eating very painful.
Also I have laryngitis 😶 And nausea and diarrhea. And a fever.
Gosh just listen to me whine!
Now let me focus on the positive.
I have a beautiful, caring family.
My 4 children and their spouses and my 9 grandchildren.
I sure do miss them.
I wish that I had a picture of all of my grandchildren together in a group.
Its geographically impossible but still I can envision it in my mind and it makes me smile to imagine it.
I love my brothers and sisters.
My sister Jan is so good to me. She is really like having a 2nd mother.
That is the kind of person that she is. Loving , loyal, and kind to everyone.
I helped her get through her own bout with cancer almost 2 years ago and now she is here for me.
I am so grateful to her and everyone else for their support and prayers.
I truly could not do this alone.
And today is such a beautiful day.
Enough complaining. This too shall pass.
And I will continue to choose Life.
Love,
Dixie
I'm almost to my goal. Please visit my link and help me get there if you can. I am so grateful to you all. Thank you.
Dixie Theriault Cancer Fund
https://www.gofundme.com/xa5jd-help-with-medical-costs
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